This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
