I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
