brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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