something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
