he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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