If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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