What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
