The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
