So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
