I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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