I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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