i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
