guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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