Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize