I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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