How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize