Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
