If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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