Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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