you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
