omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
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So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
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Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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