I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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