How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
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No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
you had me at cake vodka
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
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Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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