Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
A+ Viking dick
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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