his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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