ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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