just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Randomize
