I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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