You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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