After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I want to fling myself into the sun
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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