people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He? As in you personified your dick?
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