I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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