OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
