After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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