Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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