I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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