youre lurking in front of me
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
