I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
