There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I enjoy the company of your penis
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
