i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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