my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize