maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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