it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
