clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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