I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
