You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
