Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
