i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
