so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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