By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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