Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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