I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
