i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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