make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
