you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
