No stitches, just platelets and will power
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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