Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize