She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
