apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
